Breathing Underwater

breathing underwater

“Breathing Underwater” by Christen Mattix
watercolor, graphite & mixed media

May 11, 2012
8-9 am knit

Today was very quiet.  The only person that stopped to chat was Mark.  He brought his hiking guitar and played “Sunny Side of the Street,” “Blue Skies,” and several love songs…Whether on purpose or by coincidence, most of the songs had “blue” in them.  It made the knitting go so much faster.  I thought he would sit [with me on the bench] but he stood on the corner almost like a chaste serenade.  I tapped my foot to the music.  He’s been playing for years, and is excellent, but really shy when it comes to playing music in public.  My project inspired him to bust out his guitar, and he was going to take it down to the Fire House Cafe next.  I really, really hope he’ll let me record his music for a video!  I decided to hold off of taping him until he’s more comfortable.  G. and R. (the stay-at-home moms) drove by…

May 11, 2012
7:00-8:50 pm knit

This afternoon I was in a funk.  Discontented and ill-at-ease for no good reason.  In my “not enough” and “too much” state of mind.  Not enough love–and life is too lonely and long and hard.  Frustrated with my plants for not growing fast enough…then discovered potatoes had come up!  Stacks of dishes in the sink…Huge grocery shopping trip followed by lugging grocery bags and milk up the hill.  Bought new underwear and discovered they’re too big–all saggy and baggy like elephant undies.

So I finally decided to just knit.  The malaise melted and my mind became clear and serene.  I chatted with G. who was walking Reggie and a stray dog (a pug).  She said, “It’s a dog inside that monstrous body and I love it anyway.”  She’s a dog magnet.  Lost and stray dogs go to her yard and she returns them to their owners.  She said the pug went on a joy run.  It even had its ragged leash still on.  G. is a sparkly lady in her mid to late 60’s (I’m guessing.)

Then the sun started setting.  Intoxicating wood-smoke smell from someone’s fireplace, and the scent most likely of crab apple blossoms or lilacs, closeby.  Seagulls shrilling, train whistles…Two teens drove by and slowed down to ask what I was making.  “Cool beans!” they said, and hopped out to take my picture with the sunset.

I put my camera on my lap and filmed up at my hands…

Some people said, “Who knows you may change the world.”  I said, “I doubt that, but I do know that I am being changed.”  And G. said, “Yeah, look at all these neighbors you’re getting to know.”

I’m trying to knit some extra sessions early on in this project before burn out hits.  The weather is so favorable right now–it feels like what I’m supposed to do.



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