July 10. Knit at the bench from 8:49-9:50. I could feel the sun burning my neck. S. the gardener arrived and apologized in the advance for the noise he was about to make. I watched him decapitating the dandelions with his weed-wacker. He and E. took armloads of pruned branches to load into S.’s beat up blue pickup truck. A woman walked by with a blind dog–beautiful chocolate-brown except its eyes which were a ghostly white like two moons. Two women walked up to me, both had chic cropped hair, middle-aged, a look of intelligent sophistication. I was struck by their warm smiles when they asked me what I was doing. I said I was knitting a line to the ocean and it was an art project called “For Longing.” “Longing for what?” one woman asked. “Longing for God,” I said, realizing that I had just dropped the G-bomb in public to complete strangers.
Without skipping a beat, the woman wearing a flowing dress said, “We’re both dancers, and we understand longing…We seek connections too! We go to deep places, ecstatic places as we dance.” She was swaying and dancing as she talked. I felt love well up in me and overflow for these rooted, joyous women. The dancing woman held out empty arms in front of her chest and said, “I’ve been longing for a grandchild, and just yesterday my daughter gave birth to my first grandbaby!” I thought how sweet it is when longing is satisfied. They invited me to come to their dance group called The Five Winds tonight at Presence Studio. They said they’d keep an eye out for me, watch how Longing dances. I wanted to tell them that the desire and the satisfaction are one, that longing and love flip flop like lovers rolling down a hill. Longing turns into Love, and Love fuels longing. As she danced up the hill, she called back, “I’m longing for connection with myself and with the present moment…my mind is always drifting away, this way and that. I have to constantly return.” As they walked away, I found myself swaying side to side on my bench, and the rest of the hour passed quickly by.