Today a bee buzzed around me for a long time. “I’m not a flower, go away!” I told it in my heart, but the bee continued to come closer and closer. I batted it away with the tip of my knitting needle but that just made the bee more determined to land on me. I jumped off the bench in a desperate attempt to get away, then realized how silly I was to let my fear of getting stung disrupt my knitting meditation. So I sat back down and tried to breathe and stay calm, hoping the bee would decide NOT to crawl up my sleeve. Just when I thought it had left for good, it returned again, scoped out my red backpack and my red shirt one last time. It made me think of Buddha steadfastly facing illusions under the Boddhi tree. And Christ’s temptation in the wilderness. The process of self-emptying is a painful one…It is hard to create space for Love, to let go of the fear, illusions, and defenses that keep me captive. Love makes me feel so vulnerable, so naked, yet it is the only force strong enough to overcome fear and hatred, to heal the divisions inside and out. As the world keeps teetering towards ever more war and violence, let’s make some space for Love in our hearts. “Disarm them, disarm me.”
Update on the progress of the knit line: On Saturday, I decided to unwind the line, instead of knitting, to see how far it had gotten. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the line has almost reached 11th Street, the busy boulevard below.
C. stopped by and said our neighbor friend is finishing up her work in preparation for a major surgery tomorrow. “We’re all in this together…” she said. I saw another neighbor and asked her why her husband doesn’t walk the dogs with her anymore, and she said he has a heart condition, and recently fell near the foot of the stairs. She asked me to send him some positive thoughts.