waiting…

E. handed me a key and asked me to start locking the basement to “keep everyone happy.”  I think he means his wife…There have been several burglaries in the neighborhood.  E. told me about the Bicycle Thief who rides a bicycle to a house, steals a few things, then hops on the absent owner’s bicycle, abandoning his own bike as a calling card of sorts.

The Hiker told me he likes to eat everything except head cheese and instant mashed potatoes.  I don’t like the sound of head cheese…

Yesterday, I. and C. drove up beaming.  I. is expecting their first, and they just got engaged.  C. said he was happy to see me back knitting, that it renewed his faith in the Universe…I said, “That’s all it takes?”  C. just looked at me with his solemn grey eyes of a child.

The sun shone, the water sang deep blues.  The birds busted their sides chirping.  And I felt officially ready to be done.  Forget process and meditation and mindfulness, I just want to get to the Bay.  I want to start some big, juicy paintings and dance around splashing acrylic with wild abandon.  I am tired of sitting on a hard bench in one position.  Today I knit an extra hour or so, hoping the overtime will speed my progress.  (It probably won’t…the project has a timeline of its own.)  I am dogsitting Citrus this week just up the street from the bench so it is very convenient to knit, knit, knit…Anyways, it makes me feel like I’m making progress…

So, I asked, what am I learning?

I am learning to wait patiently.  Waiting is hope-filled suffering.  More is accomplished through waiting for God than years of muscular effort.  Waiting is one of the most powerful forces in the world…the great work of the world is accomplished this way.  I feel that the true work in this case is not a hose-reel full of knitting but rather the transformation of my heart joined to yours…the circle of communion that has formed around an abandoned bus stop.

“Suffering, teaching and transformation.  What is necessary is not that the initiated should learn something, but that a transformation should come about in them which makes them capable of receiving the teaching.” Simone Weil

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